TJ pulls some strings to get a very special guest on the show, Professor Emeritus Duncan Carter of Portland State University. He talks to us about his jam: rhetoric. It’s all around us! “I’m not exactly sure what it is,” you say? Well dang, have a listen and learn a thing or two.
Sam and TJ take a moment to reflect on a strange media phenomenon: holograms. Whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, it’s hard to deny that really you should love ‘em because holograms are like the SICKEST THING. So learn a little about what they can do for us and what Sam and TJ would like to see them become.
WASHINGTON—Tuesday morning, President Obama announced the immediate deployment of American boots in response to the continuing threat of ISIS in Iraq and Syria. This is in spite of the president’s recent assurance that there will be “no boots on the ground.”
“It has become clear that airstrikes alone are not enough,” said President Obama during a press conference. “To degrade and destroy the extremist threat facing Iraq and Syria, we need a sizable ground presence. That’s why I’ve authorized the immediate deployment of 60,000 pairs of boots to the region.”
When asked if we should also send combat troops, Obama said, “Are you crazy? ISIL has machine guns and rockets and stuff. Plus, they’re beheading people. No, we won’t send any troops, but we will send boots to the region and strategically place them on the ground.”
Another member of the press corps asked how the deployment of boots is supposed to aid with the destruction of ISIS, to which Obama replied, “I don’t know—you tell me. Everyone’s always talking about ‘boots on the ground;’ I thought maybe extremist Muslims are afraid of boots. Isn’t leather forbidden or something?”
Iraqi Army boots have proven fickle in the fight against ISIS, and fell apart at the first sign of combat. Though Kurdish boots appear to be holding strong, the Pentagon insists that only American boots can provide the traction and arch support necessary for long-term stability.
A wide variety of boots have been sent to the tumultuous region, including roughly 20,000 pairs of standard-issue military boots, 15,000 galoshes, 10,000 Vera Wang Lavender Label boots, 5,000 Uggs, and an assortment of Michael Kors 2013 fall season boots that Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Martin E. Dempsey describes as “super cute.”
The United States has apparently withheld a single boot from deployment, making the precise number of “boots on the ground” 119,999.
“We figured this would confuse ISIS militants,” said Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel. “They’ll go crazy trying to figure out where the mate to that last boot is, but they won’t find it! As they’re scratching their heads, that’s when we’ll hit ‘em with the socks.”
The latest boot deployment is just one part of the Obama Administration’s new and aggressive clothing-based foreign policy. The president has also announced the deployment of rhinestone gloves to Ukraine, turtlenecks to Israel and Palestine, and boxer briefs to West Africa.
As we plunge farther into fall and with winter around the corner, indoor activities are on the rise. So we consulted with our friend November, oh-so appropriately, to discuss reading as well as literature in a greater context.
As you know, Halloween is just around the corner. I mean heck, it has rounded the corner and you can see it walking towards you! And you are avoiding eye contact because you’re still so far away, you’ll say hi once you are close but man what do you do until then? Anyway, Sam and TJ discuss the nature of Halloween movies and costumes. Get into it!
It’s that most wonderful time of the year – Jeff Goldblum’s birthday! Sam and TJ meet with Scott Sneed, who shares a birthday with Mr. Goldblum and therefore understands exactly how he thinks and feels, and the gang discusses what are the best ways to celebrate this venerated holiday. And zeppelins.
A very exciting event is coming up in which Portland’s top crafters compete on stage – including Sam and Amarette! It is hosted by SCRAP, a creative re-use materials center, and we talk with Debbie Caselton about what SCRAP does and what to expect from the Rebel Craft Rumble. And never fear, TJ checks in with a little intro that has plenty to do with cereals.
What is this, music month?? Just joking; every month is music month if you believe in your heart. Sam and TJ are joined by the prolific Josh Lambe, a man of many bands. He regales us with his history of musical projects and the gang discusses the nature of cover band names, all while partaking in noisy snacks.
Today’s episode is one that only could have been recorded in a basement music studio. Sam and TJ talk
with James Bartlett, seasoned musician / cat lover. Stay tuned to the end of the episode for one of his tracks; “Mini Renoir” from the band Day One Symphony.